My first exposure to sex was when I was no more than 8 years old. It was on a bus back in Zimbabwe where I saw the bus conductor having sex on a seat with a passenger. At the time, I didn’t think much of it because I had no idea what they were doing. It was only after asking questions of the older kids in the area that I found out what sex was. Then, like all children do after discovering something new, I started experimenting. I had my first sexual encounter at the mere age of 8 with our neighbour’s daughter who was around the same age as me. Nothing happened because like I said we were 8 years old.
“Keep your heart with all diligence; for out of it spring the issues of life.” Proverbs 4:23
Rewriting The Verse
The Oxford English dictionary describes diligence as “careful and persistent effort.”
Inserting this definition into the verse it now reads as,
Keep your heart with careful and persistent effort; for out of it spring the issues of life.
A different version of the Bible uses the word “guard” instead of “keep” and I like that a lot better:
Guard your heart with careful and persistent effort; for out of it spring the issues of life.
This is a very active verse. It tells us we are to be careful and persistent in our effort to guard our hearts. There is no passivity at all. The action we take to protect our hearts must be deliberate and consistent.
Note: When the Bible refers to our hearts, it is referring to the part of our brain that deals with thought and reason. Inserting this understanding into the verse, and exercising some creative license, the verse ends up reading the following way:
The effort to protect your thought and reason must be deliberate and consistent; for out of your thought and reason spring the issues of life.
Sexual Immorality
At the age of 12, again on a bus (but this time in England), I discovered pornography. One of my friends had found a website that let him download it onto his phone and he dutifully shared it with all of us. At that point in my life I had enough good thought and reason to know that this was not right, so I refused to look at it…
I refused to look at it…
in public.
But in the comfort of my own room under the cover of darkness I would diligently and consistently explore this page. At the start I always felt guilty about it, but as the years progressed and the habit developed, I lost the sense of guilt I had at the beginning and began to justify the behaviour.
It’s not like I’m having sex with anyone so there’s nothing wrong with what I’m doing.
My new thought and reason towards sex began when I started to justify my consumption of pornography and masturbation. I was raised in a Christian home with parents who consistently instilled God’s values into us. Therefore, it took years for those values to be erased from my mind and for my new thought and reason to develop. For others who were not lucky enough to have the same upbringing, it only took a single glance at that boy’s phone and their minds were altered.
I was lucky because my parents took the words of Proverbs 22:6 very seriously. I also praise God because He is merciful and just and He always provides a way of escape. My way of escape came during the clarity moment.
The Clarity Moment
Ask any guy and he will tell you there is no greater moment of clarity in his mind than right after ejaculation. At this point, men see things more clearly than when their minds were clouded by the need for sexual release. It was at this moment that my conversion experience happened and the Holy Spirit spoke to me and called me out of darkness.
Guys, this is not me saying keep doing what you’re doing and God will speak to you in that clarity moment. Before that moment, I had been in a constant battle between my flesh and my spirit that lasted for over a year.
I desired to do good, but my mind had been so corrupted by years of me feeding it filth that my flesh consistently won.
I would go months without and then in one moment of weakness lose it. Like a dog returning to his vomit I returned to my sin and found comfort in it. In my moment of clarity, God revealed to me that the reason I kept failing is because I was relying on my own strength. It was then that I gave everything over to God and decided to trust Him fully with the job of reshaping my thought and reason.
Again, this does not mean that I am exempt from any work. Remember…
The effort to protect your thought and reason must be deliberate and consistent; for out of your thought and reason spring the issues of life.
Every day, I have to make sure I am deliberate and consistent in my effort to protect my newly formed thought and reason, knowing that if I do so God will provide me with the power to overcome any temptation that will come my way. I’m talking about temptations that I can’t avoid, not temptations that I deliberately walk into.
So…
It is only by walking daily with God that we can develop the same mind that Christ had. I can firmly testify of the miraculous power of God to change your thought and reason. But like He is, you must be deliberate and consistent in your effort to protect your thought and reason.
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