After spending just over 2 months in Genesis (focusing specifically on God speaking to humans)… I finally made it to Exodus this week! I couldn’t help but be dumbfounded by Moses’ seemingly needless insecurity about being a leader. However, I was equally conscious that some of my own insecurities drive my decision-making.
“But Moses again pleaded, “Lord, please! Send anyone else.” Exodus 4:13 (NLT)
Insecure = uncertain or anxious about oneself; not confident (Oxford Dictionary)
God chose Moses as the person to lead the Israelites away from their oppressors: the Egyptians. The task wouldn’t be easy, and thus Moses was given several assurances:
- God’s constant presence & a sign (3:12)
- The support of the elders in Israel (3:18)
- An outline of how things would pan out (3:18-22)
- Three miracles he could use if the Israelites doubted what he said (4:1-9)
- A promise that he would communicate effectively (4:10-12)
Despite God making it as easy as possible for Moses to serve, in verse 13 he flatly refuses. He says ‘no’ even though God has given him every reason to say ‘yes.’
Insecurities are paralysing and they can cause you to make puzzling decisions.
Make no mistake, God could have chosen anyone else; someone who wouldn’t need so much convincing, someone who wasn’t a murderer, someone who was better suited to the job. But He didn’t. He chose Moses.
If ‘Plan A’ was to use Moses alone, God quickly skips to ‘Plan B’: giving Moses a partner (4:14-17). This compromise clinches it for Moses, and the rest is history; but it’s worth dwelling on the fact that it wasn’t God’s first choice. In other words, He believed it to be a one-man job that Moses was entirely capable of with His help.
Personally, of all the ways I’ve ever ministered this is the way that feels most effortless. I could write for days purely because I thoroughly enjoy writing about God and my devotions. But I delayed starting this blog partly because I didn’t feel adequate. My mind flooded with thoughts about how my analysis might not be right, my tone may be perceived incorrectly, and my punctuation and grammar might be off. In essence, I convinced myself that I was most definitely not the right person for the job. But here I am… blogging!
Perhaps God is calling you to use a spiritual gift that makes you uncomfortable, or to take on a role that feels ‘too big.’ You may be asking yourself, “why me?” Or struggling to piece together the logistics and practicalities of leading/participating in a foreign endeavour.
Ask God to show you how HE sees you.
Every time you feel too scared or reluctant to embrace something you know He’s telling you to do, your actions betray what your mouth might never say, “God is blind, confused, and completely deluded!” The reality is that He sees something in you which you can’t.
Although this passage pertains to insecurities regarding ministry, it’s applicable in a variety of contexts. Perhaps you’ve never allowed yourself to be fully known by others because of issues with your self-worth. Or maybe you haven’t applied for that course/job/promotion because you’re certain you won’t get it.
Moses was fortunate enough to have a list of five compelling reasons to feel secure. It’s also not by accident that the first reason God mentions is the most important one. His presence alone should make you feel secure in whatever He’s called you to do. Are you willing to say ‘yes’ if that’s the only thing you have?