Expiration Date

Some people have friends who tell them nice things… I have friends who tell me I’m steadily approaching my ‘expiration date’ (apparently 25!), and I ought to do something about it at my earliest convenience. According to them, expiration refers to limited marital prospects; in their words, “past that age you’re more likely to find a person with baggage, unresolved emotional issues, or kids. You’re getting people that are damaged.”

Firstly, I don’t intend to get into a flap if the right one hasn’t come along when I hit a quarter of a century. Secondly, there are sooo many people who meet and get married post-25. I’d rather be happy and single than unhappy and married, wouldn’t you?

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end.” Ecclesiastes 3:11

Beauty

I appreciate that some of you might be perfectly content in either permanent or temporary singleness; however, in the context of this verse we’ll assume that your singleness is ‘ugly.’ In other words, you have yet to attain your desired relationship status (marriage), and thus it is still in the process of becoming ‘beautiful.’

The “He” in this verse refers to God. But since beauty is highly subjective – what you envisage as the perfect person/relationship could be very different from His ideal. I’m one of those people that doesn’t have a ‘type’; but, I do (now) have an actual list (that could be mistaken for a person specification!).

Strictly speaking, most relationships consist of only two people (let’s not dwell on side chicks, open relationships, and polgygamy eh). Therefore, it’s important to remember that ‘beauty’ (i.e. a relationship) requires two people. There’s nothing beautiful about a relationship where only one person is ready, or fully committed. Moreover, God will not give you such a person.

Your singleness should be used to develop and refine the same characteristics that you seek.

Time

I remember reading this verse shortly after the breakup and feeling upset because I thought that was ‘time.’ If that wasn’t it, then when is the right time?

Isn’t it annoying that anticipation and the passing of time aren’t correlated? It would be amazing if your excitement made your relationship arrive more quickly. I say that because it can be frustrating to wait when it feels as if there’s no end in sight. Perhaps, according to my friend’s suppositions, you’ve ‘expired.’ Maybe you’re waiting even more anxiously because you (personally) feel you’re expiring/expired. Don’t mar your singleness with impatience and frustration. Moreover, impatience can make you more inclined to settle. But what if that causes you miss out on God’s standard of beauty?

You don’t know when the right time is, so you might as well enjoy this time.

Eternity

“He has also planted eternity [a sense of divine purpose] in the human heart [a mysterious longing which nothing under the sun can satisfy, except God]—yet man cannot find out (comprehend, grasp) what God has done (His overall plan) from the beginning to the end.” (AMP)

Although I hadn’t placed as much emphasis on this part of the verse in my initial review of the scripture, it is rather interesting. Interesting in the sense that God has consciously placed eternity in your heart, but you can be so preoccupied with other things (including relationships) that you fail to adequately prepare. This verse is also reminiscent of Matthew 6:33 i.e. your job is to seek the kingdom (reserved for the inhabitants of eternity) first and foremost. God is completely aware that you desire to have a spouse. Therefore, He will give you one in His timing. Don’t be tempted to take matters into your own hands!

Preparing for eternity, while single, forms the basis of a beautiful relationship.

So…

Perhaps it might seem like there definitely aren’t plenty of fish in the sea (at least not of the kind you prefer…). Or maybe you’re never seen in ‘that’ way and feel like you’ll die in the friendzone… Irrespective of whatever is causing your relationship status to feel ‘ugly’, stay confident that it will one day be beautiful.

5 Reasons Why Many Christian Girls Remain Single mentions some good points to check whether your prolonged singleness is self-inflicted. Being 25 and Single reminded me to embrace singleness at a time when I was disappointed that my ‘relationship milestones’ weren’t happening as planned.